People Say The Stupidest Things

As a Cancer Patient you have enough on your mind dealing with treatments, procedures, surgery, keeping

I can’t believe you said that!

your job, paying for medical expenses, how do your kids react to a Parent having Cancer, and many other things that come up during this monumental time of your life. Then along comes someone and the mouth flys open, and out comes something so crazy ridiculous that you just stand and look. Maybe your blood is boiling, maybe you fly off the handle, sometimes it’s just so unbelievable you can’t even say anything.

Here are some things that have been said to Cancer patients:

“Well I hope you are ready to get back to work after having 8 Months off to rest”

“Why Did you cut your hair like that, it looks silly”? Response, “I didn’t cut it that way, the cancer did”.

A Woman who lost 50 pounds after fighting cancer was approached by a long time friend who noticed the weight loss and said, “boy I wish I was you, I would love to lose that much”. She said, “yeah, I had the Cancer diet, I don’t recommend it”.

A lady is telling her co-worker that she had just been diagnosed with cancer the day before, her friend then says, “well we both had a horrible day yesterday then, my friend was in a car wreck”. Really? Is she OK? “Yes she’s fine, but the car is totalled.”

“You got cancer because of all that Bacon you eat”.

The rest of the people in the office got the “short end of the stick” when you were out with Cancer.

A Woman was told that it was awesome that she got new boobs because of Cancer. Her response was “yes I had to get these because the other ones tried to kill me”.

A neighbor said her aunt got cancer, and she grilled out a lot, do you grill a lot? Yes. “Well, you probably got cancer from all that grilling.”

Huh! That’s funny, you don’t look sick!

During a screening before an MRI the technician is asking a lady about her medical history. “Any surgeries”? She says “yes, gall bladder, knee surgery, double mastectomy, and many more” Technician says, “Oh, did you have cancer? Lady says, “no the old ones were just getting to be too much of a hassle so I had them removed”.

A Cancer patient is leaving the hospital after a surgery, the guy pushing the wheel chair out notices she is eating a cookie, he asks, “what are you eating”? She says “a cookie”, he asks, “isn’t that how you got cancer in the first place”?

A girls boyfriend says that it didn’t bother him seeing her bald head,he says “why should it? It wasn’t happening to him”.

Someone remarked to a lady who was attempting to walk the survivor’s lap that “I don’t know why you’re acting all sick and stuff, it’s obvious you don’t have cancer because you still have your hair”.

A Husband to his Wife who was fighting breast cancer. “Well, now you’re gonna get new boobs and you’ll be able to get any man you want”!

Just a word of advice from someone who has been there. When we are fighting cancer, we don’t want to hear your reasoning for why we got it, or hear about your family members who died 3 weeks after diagnoses, and we don’t want to hear about how you think it could be our own fault. What we would like to hear is a simple, I’m sorry to hear that, is there anything I can do to help during this?

People, they’re not all bright, some stupid, and it’s against the law to shoot them. So we will just have to live with things like this.

Caregivers – The Unsung Heroes Of The Cancer Patient

November is National Family Caregivers Month, it’s a time to recognize the valuable, irreplaceable service

 

Caring for loved one with cancer

that Caregivers provide to Cancer Patients. When the Patient is first diagnosed, the Caregiver’s job has started already. Many times, the Patient must be driven to the Dr.’s office for the very first visit. Then after the first visit comes the return visits for procedures. If a tumor must be removed to be biopsied, the Patient will not be able to drive home, or stop at the Pharmacy for the medicines that are sure to be sent home. If the procedure was a small one, great, the patient can maybe go on about life just like before. But what if that procedure was a serious surgery, keeping the patient in the hospital for a week or more, with a long and painful recovery at home?

Even while in the hospital, most patients get good care, but there’s nothing like having your caregiver there with you 24 hrs. a day to take care of the smallest of needs. When you’re in a bed, recovering from a serious life threatening disease, just getting a drink when you need it, not when the nurse can get to you, is a blessing. What about if your able to eat, but need something now, a friendly face beside your bed to get you a snack, or even run across the street for your favorite fast food, is really nice.

Once home, if recovery keeps you confined to a bed, the Caregivers job becomes much more important and stressful. While in the Hospital, the Nurses and Dr.’s were there for the immediate care for the Patient, but now it’s all on the Caregiver. This can be a scary time for them, what if something goes wrong, stitches come unstitched, tubes are draining, pain gets unbearable, can’t sleep or maybe the patient needs help going to the bathroom. And if the Patient is an older Patient requiring equipment, like oxygen or breathing treatment equipment, that must be handled. The Caregiver goes from being a family member or friend, to a medical specialist in a snap. All of a sudden they must give the medicines, fix meals, change the bed, go to the store, do the laundry, clean up the house, communicate with the Doctors and Nurses, and basically just be there for any need.  And then sometime during the night, while keeping one eye open, try to get some sleep.

Most Caregivers are appreciated and do a good job, but sadly some either are not appreciated and even taken advantage of, or on the flip side, they are not even interested in playing the part of the Caregiver, even when it’s their sweet wife, or mother who is suffering.

This is a quote from a Cancer Patient discussing this problem on a popular online support site. “Has anyone experienced lack of support from their spouse? Mine could care less if I just died on the couch. He doesn’t help me at all. I have to fend for myself when it comes to the basics (food, drink and general health). He never asks me if I need anything and doesn’t even ask how I feel from day-to-day. This, in itself is causing great depression in addition to the side effects from chemo drugs. Any suggestions”?

Myself, I cannot imagine got taking care of every little need they may have, but as you see, there are those that are less than worthy of a “Caregivers Month”.

There are places to get support for Caregivers, don’t get overwhelmed. If you find yourself getting too stressed out, reach out to friends and relatives for help from time to time to give you a break. Websites such as www.whatnext.com can provide a place to talk to someone and discuss your problems, get things off your chest. One Caregiver has made it his personal journey to provide help for Caregivers after his wife passed away. www.robcares.com is a site devoted to caregivers you can also visit his website pinterest board at www.pinterest.com/robcares

If you have a large group of family and friends that are going to coordinate the care, an online Caregiver Calendar is helpful. Here you can organize your schedule, duties to be handled by each member of the Caregroup, and share the Calendar with each other. You can start your own Caregiver Calendar at http://supportplanner.caringbridge.org/

So for the Month of November let everyone you know who is, or ever has been a Caregiver for someone in need that they are appreciated. We patients literally could not get by without them.

Random thoughts from Cancer Patients, Family and Survivors

In my 24 year journey dealing with Cancer, I have had 3 diagnoses, Chemo, Radiation, Surgery, Procedures, more tests with names that the average individual shouldn’t know, radiation again, lost 50#…..twice, lost my teeth, my hair…..twice, quit one job, started a Company, lost BOTH parents to cancer and turned into a Cancer Advocate. During that trip, I have spoke with many people about the everyday cancer subjects that come up when talking with another cancer patient/survivor.

Why I Relay – By: Becky King

The summer I was 11 years old, my Daddy was  dying with colon cancer.  He was diagnosed the first of the year in  1963.  In those days we didn’t know enough about cancer and how to treat  it.  He passed away August 19 that year at the age of 39, and Mom was left  with four kids.  How unfair that was to all of us. That is the first  reason I wanted to relay.  Research has advanced so much. If my Daddy had  cancer now, he probably would have been cured. His death was devastating to all  of us. I don’t want another child to lose either of their parents or  relatives.

Why I Relay – By: Pat Greer

My name is Patricia Greer and I relay because I was diagnosed with Colon Cancer in October of 2009. I am now in REMISSION after 12 sessions of chemo.

My last chemo was March 22 2011 and that is a day I will remember for that was also the day my Grandson was born. I want to give everyone hope and that if we keep relaying one day there will be a cure for everyone. I know that this is a strange way of looking at it but the color of cancer has every color of the rainbow. One day we will see that rainbow with that pot of Gold at the other end, a CURE….I also relay for my family and friends. I Would like to see everyone at the next relay in 2013…I want to give those with Cancer that there is hope and with positive attitude that  if you stay strong we can fight it. We as a Family of Relay can help everyone and each other to fight and Stand Up to Cancer.

Why I Relay – by: Joyce Bass

Clinical Lung Cancer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I Relay because.

 

On my 32^nd birthday, my Daddy went to the doctor because of pain so severe in his shoulder that it was unbearable for him.  The doctor did an x-ray, immediately sent him to the hospital for another x-ray and then told to be in Memphis the next morning to see a doctor there.  No one in my family, that I was aware of had ever had cancer, I can’t even remember that nasty word even being spoken.